I’ve taken to reading lots of activists for women on Twitter, you know, as you do. I’m drawn to the angry ones, rather than the fame hungry or the overly placid ones. I’m interested in their arguments between each other. Their vitriol more often spat at each other, rather than at Boko Haram or Health and Social Care Northern Ireland, for example. I’m not saying every person who wants equality for their particular group needs to start big or even ever involve themselves with bigger pictures, but these people are looking at sentences written by those they’ve decided to hate, or been told to hate, or ended up hating and seeing what they can get offended and angry about. Sometimes it makes me sad, that we’ve become these hate-spewing beings and sometimes i think it’s a good thing that there are people so passionate about what they believe they’re prepared to put up with the hate they might receive, in order to progress with their cause.
Most of the time, we’re going to think our way is the right way, cos otherwise, we’re gonna end up either changing or being eternally confused. This given then, i can see why those with opposing views are going to annoy us. But here’s a thought, a radical thought, if you will… Maybe you’re wrong? You could be? But here’s another one for you, just to mix it up… What if they’re wrong too? It’s like what if cheese isn’t the best thing to have on toast, but neither is jam…
We’ve been cornered, us women. Everyone tells us the patriarchy did it, or the media is doing it to us. D’you know what though? We do it to ourselves, we do, and that’s what really hurts, we do it to ourselves. Yeah, yeah, let’s say the patriarchy makes us turn on ourselves, or the Daily Mail, or Dove adverts or whatever… No, shall we take something on our varying shaped and sized chins for once?
Maybe it’s healthy that we’re all not looking for harmony. Maybe it’s good that there’s those of you out there that are willing to kick up a fuss and say “Actually, no, fuck you, i think this is right and i’m not budging.” But in doing that, know that the other side are going to dig their (kitten or otherwise) heels in too, so it might just come down to which group is the loudest.
My desire for women to be equal comes from my desire for all humans to be equal, so whether you’re pro or anti porn, pro or anti beauty products, breast feeding in public, VAT on sanitary products or WHUTEVER, then fight your fight, do it, but try to do it without hate and try not to keep us women in the corner, cos it makes us a bit growly and the wheel keeps turning round.
I recently replied to a tweet from a feminist who’d said something about ‘women’. I asked if she could add ‘some’ women, as i’m a women and her statement didn’t fit for me or my experiences. Now this women owes me nothing, feminist or otherwise, so i’m not gonna get butthurt by her actions, but i am going to give my opinion on what happened. Someone else replied and told me that if something had happened to me i’d know how it felt and i wouldn’t be requesting a word change. I was at the cinema so didn’t see the reply straight away, but then there were a few more tweets sent with me and other women copied in. By the time i replied, i’d been blocked by the orignal person i’d sent the tweet to. On one hand, a rather extreme response, but on the other, it probably ended up looking very confrontational and so who can blame anyone for blocking confrontation? But i think where this came from is what i’ve been discussing in this post. It’s like we’re so used to arguments rather than discussions that every question, suggestion or comment that is not 100% in agreement is seen as violent, aggressive or even oppressive. Perhaps if we air our views with consideration that someone else might be at the exact opposite end of our opinion but they might still be a good friend, a good mother, a good person, or whatever, then we might tone down our, erm, tone.
But then, you know, i’ve just done a whole post telling you what you should do… So i’ll stfu now 🙂